Ask Roseann – the most Wickedly Good Matchmaker on the Planet!

To all who believe in love and all who have that forever love already, you are my inspiration every day.

I have a soft spot in my heart for grandparents everywhere.  I grew up in a small town named Lincoln, Illinois.  Grandma and Grandpa Higgins and Grandma and Grandpa Fitzpatrick were married always and only to each other.  Grandma Higgins was 22 when she met Grandpa.  I hear he’d watch her go by his dry goods store every day.  He was smitten by the young woman in the pretty hats.  Grandma Higgins was 96 when Grandpa passed away at almost 101.  There was a picture of them in the paper with her at his bedside when he turned 100 or something.  No one got divorced until my generation.  My parents only ever spent a night apart when one was in the hospital. 

On the CBS Survivor Reunion Show, 8 million viewers watched the replay of the loved ones visit to Survivor Island where cast member Tarzan bends on one knee and Terri, his wife of 30 years, runs out of the woods and into his arms.  (See yesterday’s post: Cast member Tarzan and wife Terri’s true love is what will be remembered by Survivor fans this season, not who won the million dollars.)  She tearfully shares with host and executive producer Jeff Probst, “You take him away, I’m lost.”

Sap that I am, my brain starts playing Kathy Mattea’s song “Where’ve you been?”  It’s a song about a couple who never spent a night apart until they were in the hospital in separate beds on different floors.

The true story behind Kathy Mattea’s Grammy Winning Tearjerker, “Where’ve You Been?”

What I didn’t know is Kathy Mattea’s husband, Jon Vezner, co-wrote the song about his grandparents, with Don Henry.  Per NedNickerson2010 on YouTube (many thanks), this is the touching true story behind Kathy Mattea’s biggest hit, “Where’ve You Been.”

“The song was written for Kathy Mattea, who initially refused to record it, saying it would be too difficult to sing in concerts without crying.  Co-writers Jon Vezner and Don Henry pitched the song all around Nashville.  Everyone loved the song, but no one wanted to record it.  In the end, Mattea finally relented and recorded the song the way it had originally been presented to her – a simple arrangement with guitar, piano, and upright bass.

Where've You Been was co-written by Jon Vezner and Don Henry about the inseparable, old-fashioned love shared by Jon's grandparents. This is the touching love story behind the Grammy song performed by Jon Vezner's future wife - Kathy Mattea. (photo J. Michael Krouskop, location: Belmont University (wedding photographer))

She recalls: “It’s a true story about Jon’s grandparents.  They had both gotten very sick and were in the same hospital, but didn’t know it.  His grandmother had been slowly losing it, and she didn’t recognize anybody.  She was in unfamiliar surroundings, so she finally quit talking altogether.  Jon was there visiting, and he was up seeing his grandfather; he said to the nurse, “Has anybody brought him down to see her?”  She said no, and he asked if he could do that.

“They said yes, so he wheeled his grandfather into his grandmother’s room.  His grandfather kept stroking her hair, saying, “Look at her hair.  Nobody has hair like grandma,” and she looked at him and said, “Where have you been?”  It was the first thing she had said in weeks.

“When Jon told me the story for the first time, it was before we had even gotten engaged, and he just cried and cried.  When he played the song for me and the first chorus came around, I knew where he was going with the lyric, and I just couldn’t believe he could be that vulnerable as a writer, to put that moment in a song.”

The song was Mattea’s biggest hit, winning her a Grammy.  It also won Song of the Year (1990) at the Grammys, CMA’s and ACM’s.”

Where’ve You Been

Claire had all but given’ up
When she and Edwin fell in love
She touched his face and shook her head
In disbelief she sighed and said
In many dreams I’ve held you near
Now at last you’re really here

Chorus:
Where have you been
I’ve looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been
I’m just not myself when your away

He asked her for her hand for life
Then she became a salesman’s wife
He was home each night by eight
But one stormy evening he was late
Her frightened tears fell to the floor
Until his key turned in the door

Where have you been
I’ve looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been
I’m just not myself when your away

They’d never spent a night apart
For sixty years she heard him snore
Now they’re in a hospital
In separate beds on different floors

Claire soon lost her memory, forgot the names of family
She never spoke a word again
Then one day they wheeled him in
He held her hand and stroked her hair
In a fragile voice she said

Where have you been
I’ve looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been
I’m just not myself when your away
No, I’m just not myself when your away

My Dad’s name was also Edwin and he was unlucky in Alzheimer’s, too.  But we had precious memories I’ll cherish forever as his memory diminished.  My parents were like one person.  Because my Mom’s cataract surgeries failed, they walked arm-in-arm everywhere.  They lived for each other.  It’s the kind of love I wish for everyone.  My Dad was in the hospital to say goodby to my Mom.  So was I.  And I was there at hospice to share his departure. Both knew they were loved.

Thanks for reading.  Write here or on my Facebook page.  I’d love to hear from you!

Sending you forever love wishes,

Roseann

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