Ask Roseann – the most Wickedly Good Matchmaker on the Planet!

You might be keeping yourself safe from dating the best men (or women).

One of the best exercises you can do when you finally put finding someone extraordinary to share your life with on the front burner, is to look closely at what you are letting get in your way.  Don’t skip this step.  This one could be the most important thing keeping men (or women) from getting close to you.

I had personally mastered not letting anyone get close to me.  Sometimes it takes someone else to point it out to you.  It happened to me one night, when I was on active duty in the Navy.  I was going to college at night in Panama City, Florida, and riding my bicycle home in the dark.  I didn’t see the speed bump.  My tire turned 90 degrees and I hit the ground so fast, it stunned me.  I reached my hand up and it felt warm immediately from the blood.  I needed stitches.  Luckily, a very handsome, tall, blond, tan Navy Hospital Corpsman saw the whole thing and rescued me.  He threw my bike in the back of his jeep and rushed me a short drive down Highway 98 to the Navy Base Dispensary.  While he was stitching me up (four stitches) and using special tape to save shaving my head, for which I was thankful, he told me I didn’t have to worry about men on the base hitting on me.  “You don’t let anyone get close enough to find out if they have good intentions,” he told me.  How did he know?  But he was right.  And it took a long time for me to change.  I did change, though.

What you need to detect is – are you throwing up self-protection mechanisms too fast? 

Does anyone have even a chance of a conversation with you that could develop into an invitation for a date, you to him or he to you?  If you are self-protecting, this may be a skill you have mastered and it will take deprogramming or reprogramming through practice until you become comfortable with yourself and being friendly when you’re around someone you might like to date.

I want you to notice the next time you meet someone you might want to get to know whether you are putting out happy to meet you vibes.  Just an open friendliness is sometimes all it takes.  Then you get to see if they’re nice, too!

Just to put you in the mood…here’s the theme song from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. 

Love is All Around

 Love is all around, Mary Tyler Moore Theme Song, Season I

Don’t go manic, and be over-the-top friendly, too open invitation that says, I’m so available anyone will do, please, could it be you?  That can scare someone off or make them think you’re not selective at all. 

And if all else fails and you want to summon a great moment, STOP your thoughts.  Don’t worry what this post advised you.  Close your eyes and open them with an easy smile and look at who’s in front of you.  And enjoy the moment. 

Now, if you’re a guy and you’re trying to have better engagements with someone you are attracted to, be yourself.  “Act natural.”  Isn’t that irony?  Like jumbo shrimp?  But you know what I mean.  Relax.  Take off your work hat.  Let go of being distracted by a million things, including your smart phone.  Be in the moment.  It will be refreshing!  Look for a way to offer help.  Give her a compliment.  If you’re both in business mode and this looks even for a moment, promising, make eye contact and offer a smile. 

As Paul McCartney sings, “Open the door and let ‘em in!”

Don’t let months and years of great opportunities for a relationship with someone you meet pass you by before you realize you haven’t let your guard down.

Start seeing what’s right in front of you.

Once upon a time, on the north shore of Long Island, not far from New York, there was a very very large mansion, almost a castle, where billionaire Linus Larrabee realizes there was something missing in his life...like a life. Sabrina, 1995

This whole scenario is reminiscent of the metamorphosis Harrison Ford aka workaholic billionaire Linus Larrabee makes when he spends time with the chauffeur’s just back from Paris daughter Julia Ormond in Sabrina.  She helps him realize “there was something missing in his life…like a life.”

Started assessing how you are with men or women you come into contact with who appear very datable.

Think about all the people you’ve met that you’ve had a moment of curiosity with.  The best thing is, the right person will also be curious about you.  If they get to see the datable you. Not the business you. Not the unaffected you. But the you that attracts.  The you that gives your best, or at least a somewhat inviting smile and opens up the world when you say hello.  The right guy needs little provocation.  Even a small smile can work!  And you don’t even know if you want them yet, so if you find out after you smile and start talking together, whoah, this is not a guy you want to keep talking with, you got data you didn’t have before, didn’t you?  Well done!  Move on.

It only takes one.  You’re one closer to the right one.   

Good luck!  Let me know how it goes.  Write here or on my Facebook page.  I’d love to hear from you!

Sending you forever love wishes,

Roseann

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Stay tuned for further conversations about men, women, dating, finding the right one and relationships.  I have more to say.  And perhaps you do, as well?  Please comment here or on our Facebook page.

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